The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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