I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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