The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
