yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
