eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
