i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
