This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
