I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
