Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
