so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
