we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
