I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Is it because I queefed?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
