Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
