well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
