remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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