I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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