can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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