i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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