If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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