I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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