Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
sex in a hospital.. check
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
