Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
