how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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