Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(928): View more from Arizona

Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!

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(714): View more from California

they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.

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(303): View more from Colorado

meet me or not, i'm out of control

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(904): View more from Florida

I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.

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(210): View more from Texas

Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio

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(475): View more from Connecticut

I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.

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(951): View more from California

Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?

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