Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
