I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
