Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
