Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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