Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
the liver wants what the liver wants
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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