You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
