when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize