i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
