I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
