When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
