dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
