"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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