The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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