I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
