It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
