he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
