How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
