Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
