And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
