Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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