he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We're not piercing ourselves today.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
