i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
