it was like his penis was on wheels.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i came on her dog
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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