I wanna bring you to show and tell
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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