literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
