He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
