If that was your dad, he is hot
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
