My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
