Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
