her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
