Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
