I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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