So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
it hurts more in the daytime
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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