At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
