She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i drank out of a bidet.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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