Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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