Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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